Approaching Resolution
October 12, 2010 6 Comments
Slowly slowly things are improving with The Children Issue. The aching void of chronic pain has begun to ebb away, to the point where it’s nearly gone. It’s been a number of things, and all but one are depressingly shallow.
We’ve moved to a new house. A house we would love to stay in for ever and grow old in, This has reminded me how much of a full and active life we have now, and how happy we really are. I’m the sort of person that is always focused on going somewhere, to the extent that I often forget to enjoy the present. I just hope I don’t become one of those people who is so focused on the present that I forget to plan for the future. Life will be different without children, but not necessarily bad. Just being happy helps.
I’ve injected testosterone. It didn’t make the desire for children go away, but it does make some of the pain go away. The aching void of childlessness, the pain that was so great I didn’t know if I could bear it, disappeared within an hour of injecting. I would still love to be a parent, but with testosterone. I’d been a bit late with testosterone for a variety of reasons, mostly connected to the hassle involved in registering with a new GP, and having the ‘I’m trans’ conversation. I find the fact that testosterone made me want children less is confusing. I had believed that I could want children and still be male, but now I am starting to doubt that. I have had a hysterectomy so I know that there aren’t any oestrogen molecules hanging around and causing trouble. So it must be that testosterone makes me want children less. Odd. But it does explain a lot of things about the world.
And finally we’re discussing the possibility of weekend fostering. We haven’t applied, we’re just thinking about it. I don’t know what the outcome will be. I don’t even know if we’d be approved if we did apply. But just the fact that we’re thinking about it a nice thing.
About Z
Extremely pleased to hear things are moving towards peacefulness. Do let me know if you have any questions about the respite fostering thing, in case my experiences can help.
Glad the aching is easing. Also very interesting that testosterone makes you want children less…
Is very easy to not think about what you do have, and the good things in your life in the present, and instead think about what you don’t have. You tend to miss what’s right in front of you. It’s something I definitely struggle with.
The testosterone thing is interesting but I think you mentioned before that you feel generally less like you at these times and a bit more wobbly. Is it just that you feel more upset about things that you are upset by?
Good to see you have found some relief. Please be careful with the testosterone inuections, as you may know too much can result in aromitization into estrogens. My compounding pharmacist is experienced provides Testosterone formulations in the form of injectibles but also sub-lingual, and creams. You can contact me at rmondave@yahoo.com for more information.
I have had very good results with both Testosterone Cypionate and with Sublinguals. The injections sometimes give me water retention and a strong appetite. The sublingual tablets don’t seem to do this, but are easy to forget to take. Both provide me with a much stronger manly attitude and personality, as well as an improved muscle tone/physique. Maybe you can provide me a good price? I can send you my doctor’s prescription? How long have you been in business?
Joel, yes that makes sense, but everyone is different. If you provide me via email your contact information, I can discuss the pricing with you. We have been in business for 12 years, so we have good experience and high quality USP compliant products. It is important and advised that you have a prescription, as although Testosterone can provide extraordinarily beneficial and healthful results — it is regulated as a controlled substance, and justifiably so, due to the tendency for some to abuse it — such as young athletes in competitive sports.